


Bandom Pacific Rim AU Oneshots

by BookMonsterEliz



Series: Pacific Rim Bandom AU [3]
Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Gym Class Heroes, Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance, Panic! at the Disco, Paramore, The Academy Is...
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, Multi, One Shot Collection, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Platonic Soulmates, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-26
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-07-03 01:32:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15808614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookMonsterEliz/pseuds/BookMonsterEliz
Summary: So this is just a spot for me to put little snippets and tales for this AU.The first chapter sees Hayley Williams dealing with a creep who won't take no for an answer. *no actual rape*The second has some platonic Peterick nonsense.





	1. crushcrushcrush

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me as a little plot bunny as I was working on Ray's chapter to the story proper. Basically, Hayley has an unwanted admirer who refuses to take no for an answer.

Being one of the few female Jaeger pilots wasn’t always easy, but Hayley managed. She was pretty well respected, as were all of the pilots, and she was pretty well liked by everyone in the Shatterdome. The other pilots and their crews invited her to their parties pretty often, and even if she didn’t always decide to attend she appreciated the gesture. The pilots were good guys and treated her with respect. They didn’t care that she was a girl, to them she was a person, an equal. 

Still, Hayley sometimes had to deal with unwanted advances from other members of the Shatterdome. She didn’t mind if a guy approached her respectfully, and if she wasn’t interested she appreciated them not pushing the issue. Unfortunately, this wasn’t always the case. Sometimes she had to deal with creeps. Zac and Taylor tried to keep an eye on her but they couldn’t be everywhere all the time. Besides, she was a big girl. She routinely fought Kaiju, the occasional creep should be a piece of cake, right? Honestly, she would rather face the Kaiju. 

Unfortunately, creeps happened. It took Hayley a day or two to notice this one as she and the boys had been busy helping fight a kaiju when the guy was assigned to their Jaeger’s, Paramore, maintenance crew. Coming back from the fight, exhausted but exhilarated, Hayley didn’t notice him in particular as their crew and other members on base crowded around Paramore as she docked in the loading bay amid cheers. Hayley didn’t notice his stare, or the hand he held out to help her as she descended to the Shatterdome floor. He was just one of many faces in the crowded loading bay. 

The next day she was introduced to him when she visited the hanger to help with the repairs. As she worked, she was actually introduced to three new members of the maintenance crew. She noticed that the one, Jeremy, kept looking at her and made several “casual” trips by her check on her. He even went so far as to offer her tips and advice- all unsolicited. 

Hayley knew what he was doing, and more importantly, she knew what she was doing. After a fight she liked to pitch in on the repairs, it helped her feel more intune with her Jaeger. Sometimes the boys would pitch in as well. She was always given easy tasks, taking pieces apart to be cleaned and repaired, tightening bolts, or cleaning parts, but she liked to do it, it helped her decompress. Well, as long as she didn’t have guys hounding her. She did her best to ignore him, hoping he would get the hint from her cold shoulder and terse responses. 

He didn’t get the hint. 

Jeremy cornered her in the mess hall the next morning, determined to make nice, asking her questions about herself. Hayley was polite but cold, frantically looking around for an exit to the conversation. Unfortunately, Zac and taylor weren’t in eyesight, and no one else was paying attention. Hayley made up an excuse to escape, pushing aside his protests, and left. At her next meal she was sure to stick close to her boys. When Taylor asked her why she was on edge, she told him it was nothing. 

It wasn’t nothing. For the next few days, Jeremy seemed to pop up pretty often, mostly when she was alone, away from the other pilots. When he asked her out a few days later, having cornered her in a hallway, she turned him down. Jeremy acted surprised and she told him point blank that she wasn’t interested. 

“Really? But we just met the other day! How can you know if you’re interested or not if you don’t give it a try? Come on, just one dinner date.” he asked, leaning in with a condescending smile. 

“Thanks, but I don’t have time to date, and I’m just not interested.” She said, pulling back, turning to leave. 

He stopped her with a hand to her arm. 

“Come on, Hayley! That’s what you think now, but once we go out, you’ll see! I’m a nice guy, worth making some time for. Besides, I’ll make it worth your while, babe.” 

“No thanks. I have to go now, bye.” Hayley said, shaking out of his grip and pushing past him. 

She was feeling a little shaken but quickly put it out of her mind, reasoning that it would be the end of it since she’d turned him down. After going through some runs in the simulator with the guys that afternoon, Zac asked her about it.

“Hey, has someone been bothering you?”

Hayley shrugged, not wanting to make a big deal of it. Taylor put his arm around her shoulder, and she hid her face in his chest. 

“No need to feel embarrassed. If someone’s bothering you, we want to know so we can help. We know it’s not your fault dude’s can be creeps.” Taylor said, nuzzling his face into her hair.

“Thanks guys. I appreciate it, but I think it’ll be ok. That new tech, Jeremy, was following me around, but I talked to him earlier. I told him I wasn’t interested.” 

“Alright, just let us know if he bothers you again. You don’t have to deal with that alone, Hayley.” Zac said, leaning in to catch them both up in a hug. 

“Thanks guys.” Hayley said, smiling.

They let the matter drop, trusting her to come to them if she needed to. 

Unfortunately, it was not all ok. Creepy dude did not take no for an answer, as creepy dudes are wont to do. Of course, it took a few days for Hayley to realize this. After their initial confrontation and the guys reminder that they were there for her, Paramore was thrown into the whirlwind of another Kaiju fight. They were called out in the wee hours of the morning, pulled out of bed to assist in a fight off the coast of Florida as backup to Fall Out Boy and Folie a Deux. The fight was a long one against two kaiju. They were joined towards the end of the fight by Fast Times, with Santi standing by. Needless to say, she was down for the count for a day after the fight, between reports, travel time, and catching up on sleep. 

After her day of recuperation, she spent an hour or two with Taylor helping with Paramore’s repairs, but she didn’t see Jeremy at all. She didn’t bother asking about him, she had other, more pressing concerns and honestly didn’t care. When he started his shift, and the others mentioned that the pilots had been by, he was upset he’d missed her. Hayley didn’t notice when he watched her grab a tray in the mess hall later, too slow to catch up with her before she slid into a spot at the crowded pilot’s table. 

As a pilot, Hayley was used to having eyes on her all the time and didn’t notice Jeremy watching her during mealtimes, in the hallways, and during the pilot’s sparring sessions. After a few days, Jeremy was able to corner her alone. 

There was a quiet nook outside of the facilities building that Hayley liked to hide in sometimes to have some alone time to think, write, or read a book. It was a little grassy alleyway between the main facilities building and one of the equipment sheds that was usually shaded from the sun, and rarely visited except by some of the smokers. She was sprawled out on her stomach in the grass, deep inside her latest book, when Jeremy approached her.  

“Hey! How’s it going?” he said, plopping down next to her. 

Hayley jumped, startled. Her stomach sunk as she realized who’d scared her, and she schooled her face before rolling over and sitting up. She thought about making up an excuse and leaving, but why should she? She was here first, this was her quiet spot!

“Hi. What’s up?” She asked, scooting a little bit away from him, pushing her back up against the corrugated metal of the shed. 

“Not much, I thought I saw you come this way earlier, I wanted to see you.” he said, smiling at her, leaning closer. 

“Oh, well, I’m kinda busy right now. Reading.” She said, lifting the book up. 

“Cool, The Great Gatsby! I love that book, it’s such a great commentary on the American Dream. Gatsby is so awesome, I really admire how he pulled out all the stops to get his true love. Like, he did so much to impress Daisy! Have you gotten to the part where Gatsby throws his party for Daisy? The one where he hopes she shows up, though the one where she does show up is cool too.” 

“Yeah, and I’d kind of like to finish this before I have to report for drill,” she said, pointedly opening her book again.

He didn’t get the hint. 

“Oh, well, we better make the best of our time then,” he said, flashing her a megawatt smile as he scooted so close that their legs were touching. 

She shifted away but he followed her. 

“I heard I missed you in the hanger the other day. I’m sorry I wasn’t there, you looked so cute the last time, all covered in grease, concentrating so hard over the parts.” he murmured.

“Jeremy, I told you I’m not interested. Please go so I can finish my book,” Hayley said, brushing his hand off of her thigh.

He laughed, grabbing her hand, turning so he was hovering over her, his smile sharp and his eyes predatory. 

“Hayley, I know you didn’t mean it. I get it, you’re a sweet good girl. You good girls are all alike, you like to be chased.”

“No, now let go of me!” she said.

“Ah, come on. Let me show you how good it can be with me. You’ll like it, I promise.” 

Hayley was too shocked to respond as he leaned in to kiss her. Thankfully, before he made contact, he was pulled off of her. She immediately rolled away and leapt to her feat, fist raised. She relaxed when she saw what had happened. 

“The lady said no, asshole.” Travie McCoy said, holding a struggling Jeremy up by the neck of his shirt.

“What the fuck? Let me down, you psycho! This has nothing to do with you!” Jeremy said angrily as he flailed around, trying to kick and punch Travie with no success. 

“Yeah, that’s a no.” Alex Suarez said, grabbing at his swinging hands. 

“Didn’t your mamma teach you no means no?” Travie asked, slamming him up against the side of the building. 

“Fuck off!” Jeremy snarled, still struggling as Travie and Alex each pressed one of his arms back, pressing his back into the building. 

“Hayley, did you want this creep’s attention?” Travie asked.

“No.” 

“See? She said no. And Hayley’s a big girl who knows her mind, she says no, she fucking means it.” 

Jeremy scowled at them before spitting towards Hayley.

“Frigid bitch,” he said. 

Travie’s grip on his arm grew tighter, making him wince.

“What did you just call her?” Alex asked, voice dangerously calm.

“She’s a fucking frigid, cockteasing bitch. She knows she wants it.” 

“Oh, so you’re one of those assholes. No surprise there I guess. Hayley’s one of the best goddamn pilots here, and she’s not any of the above. Your bitch ass has no right to disrespect her like that,” Travie said, looking down on him with disgust.

“Now, here’s what you’re going to do,” Alex said, glowering down at him, “You’re going to apologize to her, and then you’re going to walk away, and never ever bother her again. If you try to talk to her, or even so much as look at her, we’ll know and your life is going to become a living hell.”

“Fuck you. I’ll do what I want, you fucking pussy.” Jeremy said, struggling again.

He didn’t get anywhere, as they slammed him back against the wall again, with Alex stepping on one of his feet and Travie kicking his knee, pulling his legs apart.

“Hayley, I think he’s more than earned a kick to the balls. Wanna do the honors?” Travie asked, sending her a smile. 

“Don’t you fucking think about it, bitch! I’ll report you, get you demoted!” Jeremy babbled, trying desperately to get free of the other pilot’s iron grips on his arms.

Hayley stepped forward, eyes narrowed. 

“You’re not worth a kick to the balls, but if you ever try to touch me, or any other woman here without permission again, then I’ll hunt you down and I’ll kick you in the balls so hard you’ll wish you’d never been born,” she promised, voice low and threatening. 

“And once she’s done with you, we’ll beat your bitch ass and then cut your sorry balls off.” Travie said, pressing harder into his shoulder.

“I think they’d make great rear view mirror decorations for Paramore, don’t you think?” Alex asked. 

“Eh, fuzzy dice would be a better choice, his balls would be too small and wrinkly. Paramore deserves better,” Travie replied.

“Oh well, we could always use them as Jaeger bait,” Alex said. 

They let go of Jeremy and he stumbled a little in his rush to get away from them. He turned towards them, fist raised, but quickly backed away when Travie grinned and stepped forward, ready to fight. It was pretty obvious who would win. Jeremy fled, cursing them out while he went. 

“Remember, we’ll be watching you, asshole!” Alex called after him.

“Hey, you ok, sis?” Travie asked, turning towards Hayley.

She nodded yes, then shook her head no as the shock and adrenaline from the encounter melted away, leaving her ready to collapse, her eyes filling with tears. 

“Hey, hey, it’s ok, he’s gone now,” Travie crooned, stepping forward with open arms, but stopping before engulfing her in a hug, “Can I?” 

“Yeah,” she sniffed, stepping into the hug. 

Travie cradled her close, gently rubbing her back as she sobbed into his chest. 

“Hey, hey, it’s alright, Travie’s got you. You didn’t do anything wrong, ok? We won’t let him get near you again.” Travie murmured. 

They stood that way for a few minutes as the panic, fear, and shame all poured out of Hayley. Travie held her close and whispered reassurances into her hair as Alex stood by, making sure no one else tried to harass them. When Hayley finally pulled back from the hug, she wiped at her eyes, accepting the tissue Alex held out.

“I’m sorry,” she said, voice quiet.

“Sorry? What? No! No, there’s nothing for you to be sorry for!” Travie said, shaking his head.

“He’s the one that should be sorry, Hayley. You told him no, and he didn’t listen.” Alex said.

“He said I lead him on.” 

“How many times did you tell him no?” Alex asked.

“Two? No, three.” she said.

“Then it’s not your fault. He’s a creep,” Alex said, accepting a hug from her.

“I should have kicked him in the balls,” Hayley mumbled into his chest, making both of the guys laugh.

“Shoot, we can go get him and hold him down again for you if you want to,” Travie offered, laughing. 

“No, I’m good. But thanks though. Both of you, for the help.” Hayley smiled at them, straightening her shoulders.

“Anytime, sis, anytime.”

“I feel so embarrassed, needing to have you guys rescue me like that.” 

“Hey, hey, don’t feel bad!” Travie said, “You’re no damsel in distress. If we hadn’t come along and investigated after hearing you say no, I’m sure you would have kicked him in the balls, done whatever you needed to to get him off of you.” Travie said, wiping away a last lone tear that slipped down Hayley’s cheek.

“He’s right, Hayley. You didn’t need us, but I’m glad we were here to help.” Alex chimed in.

“Me too. I should probably get back, my Sgt will be mad if I’m late to drill,” Hayley said, checking her watch. 

“Can we walk you back to your crew?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, thanks.” 

“It’s our pleasure. Let us know if anyone bothers you again, ok? We’ll make sure they know that no means no.” Travie told her, as they followed her out into the sunlight again. 

They joked around and made her laugh as they walked her back to her room, but Taylor and Zack could still tell that something was wrong as soon as she stepped in the door. Travis and Alex helped her explain what had happened. Her guys were understandably angry at Jeremy, and thanked the other pilots for helping out, wishing they’d been there themselves. They assured Hayley that she’d done nothing wrong, the guy was a creep that couldn’t take no for an answer. 

By the end of the day, most of the base knew what had happened. All of the pilots agreed that Jeremy was a creep. Paramore’s crew started giving him the cold shoulder and his CO gave him a stern dressing down. Of course, he denied that he’d done anything wrong.

During dinner, Hayley was approached by Nate Navarro, Ryland Blackington, and Gabe Saporta with an offer to find the guy and make him wish he’d never been born. Nate told her he knew places to hide bodies, with a sharp smile that made her believe him. Still, she turned them down. They seemed let down by this but promised her they had her back if she needed it. 

Hayley wasn’t really comfortable with all of the extra attention, but she appreciated that her fellow pilots had her back. It made her feel like she belonged and was loved. She knew Zac and Taylor always had her back, but it was nice knowing the others did as well. 

Vicky Asher along with LynnZ and Kitty from the MSI Jaegers kidnapped her later that evening. They took her to the rec room that was specifically set up for the pilots, and Victoria demanded that the guys in there leave so they could have “girl’s night,” shoving Spencer Smith’s feet off the coffee table off the coffee table so she could deposit her bag of nail polish. In the prices she'd blocked their view of the tv, and their ongoing halo game.

Despite this, Michael Guy Chislett, William Beckett, Spencer Smith, Ray Toro, and Mikey Way were happy to comply, though they only laughed at the threat of having their nails painted if they tried to stay. Mikey just rolled his eyes and flipped Victoria off as he left, showing off his chipped black nail polish.

“Ooooh, l-l-let me know when you want a co-ed ladies night, I have a g-g-gorgeous bottle of b-b-blue polish that would be j-j-just your shade.” Beckett said with a smirk as he sauntered out. 

“It really is a gorgeous blue, just like the ocean,” said Chislett, causing him to have to dodge a smack Kitty aimed in his direction. 

The girls night in was perfect. They laughed and cried over a stupid, sappy movie while munching on popcorn and ice cream. A bottle of wine was shared amongst them, and they painted their nails as they bemoaned the stupidity of dudes and shared all of the juicy gossip from around the Shatterdome. It was just was Hayley needed. 

The next morning she was surprised again when she was approached by Gerard Way, Frank Iero, and one of their crew, Big Worm. She set her cup of coffee down, but picked it back up again when Taylor made to swipe it.

“Hey, can we talk with you for a minute?” Gerard asked.

“Yeah, what’s up?” she asked. 

“We heard you had someone bothering you, and we wanted you to know we’re here for you if you need help burying the body.” Frank said, eyes wide and earnest, as he cracked his tattooed knuckles.

Gerard sighed and lightly smacked him upside the head. 

“What Frankie means, is, we think consent is important. What that tech did was wrong. Nobody should try to push you if you say no, that’s not right. None of that was your fault, Hayley. We know you, you wouldn’t lead anybody on. The guy’s an asshole, and we are not ok with dudes who don’t listen when a girl says no. Women should be respected, you’re not just a hot body, you’re a person! You know what you want or don’t want, and guys should respect that. No means no, and if you don’t consent to being touched, or talked to, or whatever, that should be respected.

“Now, we know you’re a strong and capable woman. Hell, you’re a fucking Jaeger pilot like the rest of us, you don’t need our help taking down creeps. You could fuck a dude up all by yourself. But we wanted you to know that our crew is here for you, if you want it.” 

Gerard stopped his monologue for a moment to breathe, smiling at her, and Frank took the opportunity to jump in.

“Basically, we respect you and know you can handle it yourself, but we will totally help you bury the body if you want, is what he’s trying to say.” Frank said, smirking at his co-pilot.

Gerard just sighed and gave him an indulgent smile. “Fine, yeah, we’ll help you bury the body.”

“We’ll help you beat up the body first, too, if you want.” Big Worm offered. 

Hayley couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Thanks guys. That means a lot to me, but I think I’ll be fine. I’ll let you know if I come across any bodies though, ok?” she said with a smile. 

“We’ll hold you to it!” Frank said, opening his arms to offer her a hug. 

She leaned in and accepted, laughing when it turned into a group hug.

By the end of the day Zac informed her that Jeremy had been traded away from their maintenance crew. Travie McCoy himself had gone to Jeremy’s CO with one of his best mechanics and asked for the trade. Apparently Jeremy had protested, but was ignored. 

LynnZ told her later that even though she’d turned him down, that hadn’t dampened Gerard’s zealous wrath, and he’d spent a good bit of time talking to everyone on his own crew about the importance of consent and respecting women, making it clear that he wouldn’t tolerate misogyny or any sort of sexist bullshit. 

By the end of the week, Jeremy had put in a request to transfer to a different Shatterdome, tired of getting the cold shoulder from his peers, and having Travie and his fellow pilots keeping a close watch on him. No one was sad to see him go. 

After a few weeks the incident faded from their minds in the face of fresher drama and the escalating kaiju attacks. Because of this, no one really noticed at first when Hayley acquired a new creeper. This one was even more creepy and definitely bolder. On his first approach she turned him down and he decided to push past her no, getting a little too fresh. This time, Hayley had no reservations in immediately kneeing him in the balls in the middle of the hallway. 

He went down fast. When he got up and lunged, she was ready with a fist to his nose. Despite him having the advantage in weight and height, there was no contest in who won that fight. It didn’t last long, as there were a few others around who were quick to jump to Hayley’s aid. When the official report was written up, everyone testified that Hayley was acting in self defense against unwanted advances, and he was court martialed. 


	2. Cryptophasia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is set after they graduate as pilots, and are getting settled in the Shatterdome. Platonic soulmate fluff and angst!  
> Basically Pete kisses Patrick before leaving him in the mess hall without thinking about it. It throws him for a loop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is based off a snippet of some sitcom, Friends, How I met Your mother (which is the knock off version, come on), where the dude and the girl are rooming and they are so married it's not even funny but they're really not and they kiss each other goodbye one morning then stress about it all day. Except with Pete and Patrick, of course. 
> 
> Honestly, I only ship them platonicaly, so, here you go.

He is doomed, Pete determines, to jump from extreme to extreme. He either acts without thinking or thinks too much and misses his chance to act. He can never seem to find a happy median, that golden place of easy interaction. 

This morning he'd done the former and he was pretty sure he'd royally fucked up. He committed a faux paux of the highest magnitude. He’s not sure if he can ever face Patrick again. Hell, he’s not sure if Patrick will want to ever face him again after how he embarrassed himself, and Patrick, that morning. Patrick is sweet, but not really the most forgiving. He’s semi-sweet. And Pete is doomed, he’s sure. 

The thought plagues him all morning, buzzing just under the surface of his skin, feeding his anxiety and absolutely killing his attention span. This is seriously unfortunate, considering that his superior officers were really counting on him being 100% present both physically and mentally for the training session. He’s not too worried about it though as Gabe was sitting next to him, taking notes. Pete figured he could get him to share without too much trouble. It’s a bunch of bullshit about dry and dusty regulations, so it’s not like he’d have remembered it on his own anyways.

He flees the classroom before he can ask him though when Gabe turns to him with a knowing smile after the Gunny leaves the podium. Pete just can’t face his ridicule, not from his good friend. He didn’t think he could throw around jokes and innuendos right then, no he knew he couldn’t. Not if they were aimed in Patrick’s direction.

  


His anxiety hasn’t abated by the time he meets Joe in the gym after class to spar. Instead, it’s gotten dangerously close to panic level. When Joe finds him, he’s already gone through his stretches and is pacing the length of the room, furiously thinking through different ways Patrick is going to kick his ass. He’s just started to wrap his brain around the almost sure possibility of Patrick never wanting to see him again and asking to be taken out of the pilot program when Joe greets him.

“Hey dude. Are you ok?” Joe asks with a frown.

“Uh, yeah. Fine.”

“Riiiight,” Joe says before dropping to the mat with a sigh.

Pete continues to pace, this time keeping himself contained to within a few feet of his other copilot. He watches as Joe calmly runs through his warm up, considering going through his routine again, but deciding against it, needing motion.

“You know,” Joe says calmly, “one of the side effects of drifting with someone on a regular basis is the ability to feel their emotions, particularly when that person is close by. Like say, two feet away. Pacing, over and over again. Next to my mat.” 

“Sorry.” Pete says sheepishly, stopping to lean against the wall.

He’s jiggling his leg before he even realizes he’s doing it, and then he’s pacing again, a little bit further away from Joe this time. 

“Dude!” 

Pete startles at the hand wrapped around his ankle. He hadn’t realized he’d drifted so close to Joe again. His friend doesn’t let go, tugging on him until he sits down on the mat with a huff. Joe merely raises an eyebrow as Pete drums his finger against his leg. He waits for Joe to resume his stretches, he was almost through, but he doesn’t. He just sits there, staring at Pete expectantly, waiting for an explanation. Pete stares back for a moment, defiantly, before ducking his head and concentrating really hard on a rip in the seam of his sweatpants near his knee. 

“You’re super wound up for someone who’s fine. What happened?”

Pete risks a look at Joe and is relieved to find him looking concerned, not mad. He doesn’t think he can deal with alienating Joe and Patrick. Though Joe’s bound to be pissed when he finds out what Pete did. He feels his anxiety kick up a notch at that thought, and Joe must feel it through their drift connection as well, because he reaches out and pats his knee.

What the hell, Pete decides. He might as well tell him, he’s bound to find out anyways, and he’d rather he heard it from him and not as second or third hand gossip. 

“IkissedPatrick.” he whispered, the words leaving him in a rush.

“What?”

“I kissed Patrick.” he said, a little louder. 

The words hang out in the open for a moment, making Pete cringe.

“Oh. Well, ok.” Joe says, voice easy, not at all bothered by this, “Jeez, Pete, you had me worried. I thought you’d like finally killed Dirty or something.” 

“What?” Pete asked, staring at him in shock, unable to believe he didn’t see the problem with this.

“Yeah, it’s no big deal dude.” Joe said, shrugging.

“No big deal?” Pete’s voice grew louder with each word, “I kiss my co-pilot, and it’s no big DEAL?”

“Uh, no? I mean, maybe? Like, I kissed him once, and it wasn’t a big deal. It was good and all, but not really my jam, and he liked it, but wasn’t like super into it, so… Yeah. I might need more details here, man.” Joe said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Wait, what?! You kissed Patrick? When?” Pete said, brain stuttering over that little tiny fact.

“I don’t know, a few weeks ago. At that party after Santi and Fast Times took down that kaiju while we were at the Academy. Pro tip, don’t try to out drink Carden. That kid can hold his liquor. But yeah, a bunch of us played spin the bottle. I think William and Gabe just wanted an excuse to make out, but whatever. Patrick landed on me, we kissed, it was pretty good, no big deal. You know who’s a real good kisser? Butcher. Now he can kiss with the best of them.” Joe said.

“O-kaaay.” Pete said, mind spinning with this new information.

He’d left the main party with Dirty, Navarro, Sisky, and a few others to go set off firecrackers on the lawn and had missed that bit of fun. He’d heard about it the next day, but he hadn’t realized that Patrick had been there, kissing dudes. To be fair, that was probably because the telling of it mostly focused on Gabe, and his crazy shenanigans. 

“Yeah, well, details on what happened with you? Did Patrick like want to kiss you?” Joe said, gently.

“Uh, I don’t know. I kinda did it on accident?” Pete said, feeling his cheeks turn pink.

Joe just raised an eyebrow at him, in question, not in judgement. 

“So, we had breakfast in the mess hall together, with Bill and Sisky. I had to leave to go to class, so I got up to leave and said bye, and like, I don’t know, just like leaned in and kissed him. I didn’t even realize I’d done it until I put my tray up, and it just hit me. Like, shit man, I kissed Patrick!” 

“Did he kiss you back?” Joe asked, voice patient.

“Uh, no? Maybe? I don’t know.” Pete said, wracking his brain. 

He had been so sure that Patrick would hate him for embarrassing him like that in front of the entire mess hall to even consider that Patrick might have kissed him back. It hadn’t been that much of a kiss, just a quick perfunctory peck, over and gone so fast that he hadn’t even realized that he’d done it until he was halfway across the room. 

“Ok. Do you like, like Patrick? Like, as more than a friend?” Joe asked.

“No!” Pete’s answer was immediate, his cheeks turning pink. “I mean, Patrick’s awesome. He’s a fucking genius, and he has good taste in music and shit, and he gets my crazy rambling and all, but he’s Patrick. He’s my best friend, my copilot. I love him like crazy, but I don’t want to like bone him or anything.” 

“Ok. Well, I’m sorry but I fail to see what the big deal is then.” Joe said with a shrug. 

“Dude! I kissed my best friend in front of the entire mess hall. He’s going to kill me, or at the very least he’s going to refuse to drift with me ever again and then neither of us will be able to be pilots anymore, and then I’ll have to like retire in disgrace and move to the boonies and change my name and live in shame for the rest of my days.” 

“Yeah, I doubt it’ll come to that man.” Joe said, voice dry.

“He’s going to hate me, Joe. Patrick hates me now. I bet he’s off plotting ways to kill me as we speak.”

“Yeah, no. I saw him like twenty minutes ago and he seemed fine to me, man. He wasn’t upset at all.”

“He wasn’t? But I like totally humiliated him in front of everyone!”

“I hate to break it to you, but you two are kind of like an old married couple and all, Pete. I doubt that anyone was shocked to see you kiss him. I mean, that is like the most married for ten years with three kids thing you could do, kiss him and not even realize it. He probably just chalked it up to you being touchy feely or shit and moved on with his morning. Hell, maybe he didn’t even realize you did it.”

“Now I don’t know if that would be better or worse.” Pete said, calming down a bit.

“Oh, definitely worse. If he didn’t realize he got a kiss from a stud like you, you might want to demand marriage counseling.” Joe deadpanned, earning him the middle finger.

“Ugh, I’m such an idiot.” Pete said with a sigh, flopping back onto the mat. 

“Yup,” Joe said cheerfully, “A clingy idiot who absolutely hangs on his poor unsuspecting copilot and accidentally kisses him after breakfast.”

“You’re not helping, Joe.”

They sit in silence for a moment. Pete still felt jittery, but then, he’d been feeling jittery for a few days. They hadn’t fought a kaiju in a week or so, and while he didn’t want an attack, he wouldn’t exactly say no to a fight. Or a good night’s sleep. That hadn’t really happened in the last few days either. He figured he’d sleep when he was dead. Which may or may not be sooner rather than later.

“So, you don't think Patrick is going to kill me then?”

“Sadly, no. But Andy will if we don’t shape up on these jujitsu forms. And he’s like twice as capable of killing us as Patrick, so…”

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s get to it then.” Pete said, hopping to his feet.

After they practiced, Pete felt a little less jittery, and a lot of his anxiety had drained out of him, or was forgotten in the face of Joe’s calm determination. He didn’t know that they’d gotten any better at their forms, but the time on the mats wasn’t a total waste. 

He became nervous again later that afternoon as the day brought him closer to his scheduled sim time with Patrick. Pete was still leaning towards the thought of Patrick murdering him over embarrassing him, despite Joe’s assurances that it was no big deal. Drifting with Patrick was the last thing Pete wanted to do. He wasn’t willing to risk Patrick’s brutal rejection in the sim room, where anyone could see it. Hell, he was really hoping to avoid his murder and/or rejection if at all possible. 

The only thing to do, of course, is to not show up. Pete is well aware that this is bound to piss Patrick off even more, so he does a little damage control. After all, he’s not a total dick. He doesn’t want to get him in trouble for not meeting his sim hours. While he knows he can’t avoid Patrick’s wrath forever, he doesn’t want to make it worse. 

It doesn’t take much effort to find Travie McCoy, though convincing him to go drift with Patrick for him takes a little bit of doing. Pete doesn’t want to explain the situation, still feeling embarrassed and confused, though from Travie’s smirk, he’s well aware of what happened. And Pete definitely doesn’t want to admit that he’s hiding from Patrick. After successfully avoiding giving Travie straight answers to his questions on why he should drift with Patrick instead of Pete, he’s relieved when the taller pilot throws his hands in the air and agrees. Travie’s a good friend. He does, however; give him a warning.

“I’m just doing this today because Patrick and I have been talking about practicing together for a week or so and haven’t had the time, ok? I refuse to get in the middle of your domestic disputes. This is a one time thing.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Just for today, man. I just need a little break. We’re not, like, fighting or anything,” Pete said, shuffling his feet, unable to meet Travie’s eye’s. 

“Uh huh. You know you can talk to me, bro. I’m here for you,” Travie said.

“I know. You’re the best. I just need space right now,” Pete said, feeling bad.

He did trust Travie, who really was a good friend. He just wasn’t sure of his own thoughts and fears yet and wasn't really ready to face them. He wished, with a bone cutting ache, that he could talk to Patrick about it, he always knew just how to read his scattered thoughts and untangle his jumbled emotions. That was out of the question though and it stung. 

“All right. Come find me when you’re ready. And don’t shut Patrick out, ok? Talk to him.” Travie said, wrapping Pete into a warm hug. 

“Thanks, bro,” Pete said, hugging him back. 

Pete spends the rest of the afternoon keeping busy, trying to avoid his copilot without it looking like he’s avoiding him. He knows Patrick’s general daily schedule habits, his favorite places to be and things to do, and also knows the places he’s least likely to visit. Pete decides to stick to those. 

He spends a few hours with Dirty and the other techs working on Fallout Boy in the hanger. Patrick’s not against helping out the techs, but he’s a perfectionist and is always afraid that he’s going to do the wrong thing and mess up their jaegers. He’s a fast learner though. Pete can’t say the same for himself. He likes tinkering on the simple tasks the guys give him, relieved in knowing that his work will be double checked. 

Pete tries to cajole them into letting him use the welding equipment, but the Gunny won’t budge on his no. Instead, they set him to oiling parts and tightening bolts. He gets grease everywhere. He doesn’t really mind. He gets kicked out after he and Dirty are caught throwing bolts at the other techs backs. 

From there, Pete makes his way to the gym, Patrick’s least favorite place in the Shatterdome. It’s not Pete’s favorite either, but he has energy to burn. The gym has a good atmosphere, he knows a bunch of the guys there and they laugh and joke as they go through their sets. Pete throws himself into his workout, letting the heavy beat of the metal they have flowing through the speakers power him through it. 

He gets so caught up in it that he doesn’t notice that Andy has come in until his copilot drops down onto the machine next to his. He finishes his reps before addressing Andy, pushing away the childish feeling of being caught. Andy waits patiently, not starting his own workout. 

“Oh, hey man,” Pete says, shooting him what he hopes is an easy smile.

Andy doesn’t look impressed. 

“I didn’t expect to find you hiding here,” Andy said. 

“I’m not hiding!” Pete says with his best surprised and offended expression.

“Mhm, you stood Patrick up.”

“I just needed a break. Besides, I got him Travie instead.” 

“You’re an idiot, Wentz,” Andy says with an eye roll, “now come on, I need someone to spot me.” 

Pete follows him with a minimum of protests. Andy doesn’t like to put himself in the middle of other people’s drama. He’s always willing to listen to Pete and give impartial, usually non judgmental, advice without straight out telling Pete what to do. He’s also willing to just chill and let Pete be, which Pete very much appreciated in this particular instance. Andy doesn’t completely let him off the hook, however; putting him through a punishing routine with the weights and bars. 

The workout left Pete feeling a little less wired. He snuck to the mess hall, snagging a to go bag and stuffing some junk food into it. He was in and out in about five minutes, much to his delight, without running into anyone that would expect him to sit and eat with them. He got a glimpse of Patrick in the hallway, and made a quick exit. Patrick looked pissed, and he had no desire to confront him while he was angry, especially not in the middle of the hallway in front of all the other troops on their way to and from dinner. He’d already made one scene in the mess hall today and didn’t plan on making another. Pete tentatively lowered his mental shields and reached out to Patrick through the bond they shared from drifting. He slammed them right back up as soon as he felt the simmering burn of Patrick’s anger. 

He spends the rest of the evening bouncing around the Shatterdome, avoiding Patrick. Pete ends up with some of the guys in the rec room in an intense Mario Kart battle. He gets his ass kicked by Sisky and then Navarro, knocking him out of the running. It’s fun anyways, with beer and snacks, laughter and friends. He almost forgets about the morning’s embarrassment. He knows that most of them know about it, but strangely, no one brings it up.

Sneaking into the room he shares with Joe without running into Patrick is a little bit trickier, but Pete manages. He waits until close to midnight, though Patrick is enough of a night owl that doesn’t guarantee he won’t run into him in the hall. He’s relieved when he doesn’t. Joe has already gone to bed, having kindly left the small bedside table lamp on for him. Pete changes out of his fatigues and into his sweats and hoodie before sliding into bed. The movement and noise earns him a middle finger and a goodnight from Joe, and he returns the latter. 

Pete can’t sleep. This isn’t really new news, insomnia is his most frequent bed mate. He’s learned to live with it, spending the hours tossing and turning, fighting his demons in the dark. He’s found it helps exorcise them if he writes, spilling ink like it’s blood across the page, his heart splattered out in black scribbles. That, or he’ll crawl into someone else’s bed for solace or distraction. 

Pete’s learned that Joe doesn’t have much patience for his midnight ramblings, valuing his beauty sleep. Andy has more patience, he’ll listen quietly, will spoon Pete close and provide comfort, will try to encourage him to sleep. He never does, but takes comfort in Andy’s solid sleeping weight against his back, a small measure of protection against the black hordes inside his head. When he’s unable to sleep and feeling too restless to write, he prefers the comfort of Patrick’s bed. Patrick never tries to get him to sleep and is the most willing to talk to him, providing him weapons in his fight against his inner demons as well as a shoulder to cry on. He feels most comfortable with showing Patrick his inner ramblings. Patrick understands them, more than anyone else, and is able to string them together into poems. Pete always feels better after going to Patrick. He wishes he could go to him now, but doesn’t dare risk it.

He tosses and turns, unable to stop going over the damning few minutes were he’d fucked everything up. He’s relives the scene over and over in his head, seeing it from every angle. He feels the soft brush of his lips against Patrick’s, a moment that had passed almost unnoticed now stretched out into infinity. Thoughtless, sweet, so fucking stupid. He can’t believe he was so stupid. He doesn’t know what possessed him to do that, to embarrass Patrick in front of everyone like that. 

Pete doesn’t like Patrick like that, he doesn’t, really. He takes a ragged breath, steadying himself. The thought of Patrick hating him cuts deep. Pete could face Patrick’s annoyance or anger, hell, he did all the time. But he couldn't take it if Patrick decided he wanted nothing to do with him. Even the thought of Patrick rejecting him is devastating. So what if he was a coward for hiding from Patrick? Pete can’t face that. Maybe, hopefully, if he lays low for a few days, Patrick will calm down, and it would be forgotten. 

Why had he been so stupid? He had acted without thinking. Kissing Patrick goodbye had felt natural, which was weird in and of itself. Joe was right, it was a super “married for ten years” sort of thing to do. But here’s the thing, they aren’t married. They just share each other’s brains on a daily basis. He’s become used to letting Patrick in, finds comfort in feeling the ghost of his mind at the edges of his own as he goes about his day. He doesn’t know what he’d do without him.

Pete had kissed dudes before, but never like that, never without thought, as an expression of tenderness. Before it had always been a joke, a way to rebel or act out. He doesn’t actually like dudes. Well, I mean, there’d been the occasional dude that he’d come across that was hot, but he wasn't in to that. Not really. Not at all. And he knows, for sure, that Patrick isn’t. Hell, if he hadn’t been in Patrick’s head, seen glimpses of his thoughts about girls, his memories of his past girlfriends, he would think that the dude didn’t know what sex was. 

Who was he kidding? Pete grudgingly acknowledged that he was totally in love with Patrick. Who wouldn’t be? He was smart, had a sharp sense of humor, but was also kind and gentle. At the same time, Patrick could be infuriatingly bossy and loved being in charge, and often took up the role of slave driving perfectionist. But then, even though it could be annoying as fuck, Pete liked being able to rely on Patrick, he liked knowing that someone else had shit together, because Lord knows Pete could fuck shit up just by looking at it sometimes. Like today, in the mess hall. 

For some unknown reason, Patrick actually looked up to him. He knew all of his fears, flaws, and insecurities, and still came back for more. He wasn’t perfect either, but he was a lot less of a mess. Still, he understood Pete. They could talk without words, inside each other’s head in the drift. He was Pete’s other half, his soulmate. Of course Pete loved him. He could easily see himself spending every day of the rest of his life with Patrick. He just didn’t want to fuck him. 

No, he wanted to see him at breakfast, tired and grumpy, shoveling down food and sipping his coffee. He wanted to see him get pissy over Pete not being precise enough in his martial arts forms. Pete couldn’t go without the look on his face when he laughed, a real full bodied laugh. He treasured the small moments of seeing Patrick’s vulnerabilities, his shyness around crowds of people, the way he tried to hide the perpetually soft curves of his body, or the way he would refuse to go around without a hat, even wearing a towel over his dripping head on his way back from the showers. He loved seeing him in his element, poring over fight footage, cataloging kaiju weaknesses and strengths. Pete treasured the way he would strum on his guitar, his rich voice singing Pete’s words, airing them out for the world to hear, taking away some of their sting. 

Pete couldn't stand the thought of losing Patrick. The thought kept him up for most of the night. He wasn’t sure when he dozed off, but his sleep was light and fitful, full of dark dreams. He woke to Joe’s alarm, feeling exhausted and wired all at the same time. 

The morning flows by in a blur as he throws himself into the day. He skips breakfast to spend time in the gym, taking solace in the burn of his muscles. He tries to pay attention in class, but the regulations might as well be in French. Gabe is sensitive enough to only tease him a little, asking him if he’s thinking of baby blues instead of the Gunny’s words, backing off when Pete starts to get defensive. He offers to email Pete a copy of his notes, and they agree to meet up later in the afternoon to study. 

He almost runs into Patrick as he heads to the Shatterdome’s dojo. Pete hears his voice, coming from around the corner, loudly arguing with Joe about something, laughing at a comment Pete doesn’t catch because he’s too busy scrambling for an exit. Pete ducks around the corner, leaning against the cool corrugated metal of a storage shed, ears straining to catch more of Patrick’s words. He can hear the low timbre of his voice, but can’t make out what he’s saying. Sadness, anger, and regret all tumble through his veins, a vicious cocktail that makes him want to hurt something. 

He gets his chance on the mats, sparring with some of the other pilots and their crew. The Butcher, Carden, Sisky, Jack Edinger, and Jon Walker are already at it, along with Gabe, Nate Navarro and Ryland Blackington. They are happy to see him and he easily slips into their rotations, smoothly dodging the question of whether Patrick would be joining them by telling him that he was busy. He was, Pete was sure of it, though doing what and doing it where were unknowns. He was Patrick’s copilot, not his keeper, after all. Despite common belief they weren’t actually attached at the hip or married. Not at all. 

He’s a little more fierce than usual, a little less willing to pull his punches. Pete knows he can be an excitable little dude, but he doesn’t usually throw himself into sparring with this much intensity. He just has a lot of steam to burn, and trading blows feels good. He wants to hurt, both others and himself. The physical pain distracts him from the pain and fears in his mind, and it’s more manageable, something he can control.

He circles Jon in the ring, staff raised, a manic grin on his face as he advances in a swirl of movement, his staff carrying a little too much weight as it cracks against Jon’s. The sim tech puts up a good defense, but he’s no match for Pete, and ends up on the floor, breath ragged.

“I yield!” Jon gasps, raising a hand limply before letting it fall back to his chest with a groan. 

Pete laughs as he pops over to help him to his feet. 

“Best two out of three?” he asks, bouncing on the soles of his feet.

Jon looks at him for a long moment, his keen grey gaze seeing more than Pete would like, before he slowly shakes his head.

“No, I’m good man. Are you ok?”

“Yeah! I’m great! Who else is ready to get their ass kicked?” Pete exclaims, quickly deflecting his concern.

Nate is only too happy to take a turn, and Pete’s world narrows down to the dance of bodies in motion, blow following blow. Still, he’s aware of Jon’s gaze, knowing, and a little sad. He does his best to ignore it. If he laughs too loud, or runs a little too hard, the others don’t seem to notice. He’s fine, really. He’s not about to admit to anything else.

Pete rides the high that sparring with his friends brings, ignoring the doubts and fears gnawing at the back of his mind as they shower and then eat. If he scans the mess hall for Patrick, relieved that he isn't there, the others don’t seem to notice. He leaves with Gabe and Ryland, headed to their room so they can go over Gabe’s notes from that morning’s lecture. 

They’re about halfway to the dorm room when Pete overhears a snippet of conversation that makes his blood boil.

“These pilots are all a bunch of fucking fags! I can’t believe they haven’t been kicked out yet. Fuckin’ don’t ask don’t tell bullshit.” 

“Hell, they don’t need to tell, they fucking flaunt it. Did you see Wentz kiss Stump in the middle of the mess hall yesterday?”

Pete stops, eyes wide, making Ryland stumble into him. It takes Gabe a beat to realize Pete isn’t by his side anymore, and he stops mid sentence to turn and see what’s wrong. He finds Pete white with anger, glaring at a few cadets sitting at a picnic table, smoking. 

One shakes his head, his laugh nasty, “It’s not right, man. Who do you think takes it?”

“Oh, Wentz, definitely, he’s a whiny little emo bitch.” his friend says.

“No, have you seen the way he hangs on Stump? He’s definitely the one giving it. I mean, Stump’s not pretty but have you seen those fat lips? There’s no way Wentz isn’t sticking his little dick in that,” one of the others says with a sneer, making the others laugh.

Pete finds himself next to their table before he’s even thought about it.

“What did you just say?” he asked them, voice low and dangerous.

The other man, who’s taller and buffer, sets down his cigarette and turns to him, eyebrow raised, mouth quirking into a cruel smile as he looks Pete up and down. His friends watch nervously.

“I said Stump likes to suck your tiny dick,” the cadet says.

“Take that back,” Pete warns, venom dripping from his lips.

“Why? We all know it’s true, fag.” 

Gabe and Ryland grab him before his fist can connect with the man’s ugly face, holding him back despite his struggles.

“Let me go! Take it back, you motherfucker! Don’t you dare say that shit about Patrick!”

The cadet just laughs, cruel and ugly, just out of reach.

“Or maybe you suck his cock. Fucking fags, all of you. I don’t know why they made you pilots when they had real men to choose from.” 

“Fucking liberals, man,” one of the others choruses.

“Hey, that’s enough, assholes. Patrick’s not sucking anybody's dick, and if he was it sure as hell wouldn’t be your business,” Gabe said. 

“I bet you wouldn’t know a blow job if it bit you in the ass,” Pete spit at them. 

“Oh yeah? Your mom gave me one last night, Wentz,” the cadet said, leering at Pete.

His friends laughed hilariously, making snide comments of their own. Pete struggled harder, but Ryland and Gabe’s grip was firm.

“What are you, 12? Go find some new comebacks and better gosip, you neanderthals,” Ryland sneered.

  


“Come on, let’s get out of here. They aren’t worth it.” Gabe said, dragging Pete away.

“Yeah, run little faggots, run!” the cadet taunted.

Pete let out a return stream of curses and creative insults, but let his friends drag him away. He was still shaking with anger when they got to Gabe and Ryland’s room, and he leaned heavily on the arm that Gabe still had around his shoulder.

“Dude, are you ok?” Gabe asked him, voice laced with concern.

“Where the fuck do they get off, talking about Patrick like that?! Calling us faggots? What the fuck?!” Pete said.

“They’re stupid, jealous meatheads. They’re angry that we’re pilots and they’re not, and their tiny homophobic minds can’t come up with any actual creative insults so they revert to that. Honestly, I’m surprised they didn’t have anything to say about Gabe being Jewish.” Ryland said with a shrug.

“Ha! If we hadn’t of walked away I’m sure it would have come up. Don’t sweat it, dude. They’re idiots.” Gabe said, giving Pete a comforting squeeze.

“It’s not right! Patrick and I aren’t like that! They can’t just say shit like that.” Pete said, still angry.

“Well, we could report them, but I don’t know what kind of good it would do. Besides, who cares what they say? The people that matter know it’s not true, and if it was we wouldn't care. Everyone else can go fuck themselves,” Gabe said.

“But it does matter! What if Patrick heard them say that?” Pete asked.

“He’d realize that they’re small minded homophobes not worth his time of day and move on with his life. They’re just jealous dude, don’t let it get to you.” Gabe said. 

“They still shouldn’t say shit like that. It’s not right.”

“No, but little minds, remember? Honestly, if they were willing to suck dick, they might have had a better chance at being pilots themselves, instead they’re stuck up, close minded assholes that’ll never amount to much.” Ryland said with disgust.

“Oh yeah, dick sucking is great for strengthening drift bonds. It’s why Cobra’s the best,” Gabe said with a suggestive smirk.

“Too bad you’re so bad at it.” Ryland shot back.

“That’s not what you were saying last night!” Gabe crowed, making Pete crack a smile.

“That was the sloppiest blow job I’ve ever had in my life. Pete, please tell the man that having spit run down your ass crack is not sexy.” Ryland said, shaking his head sadly. 

“Lubrication is important, Blackington! What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make sure you were ready for the main event?” Gabe insisted, making Pete laugh.

“As if.” Ryland said with a sniff. 

Pete let the subject drop as the conversation devolved, but it still bothered him, knowing that people around the base were gossiping about them, about him kissing Patrick like an impulsive idiot. There was no way Patrick hadn’t heard, and if he was mad at Pete before, now he’d really want nothing to do with him. Patrick was sensitive, this kind of gossip and vitriol was the last kind of thing he needed.

Pete did his best to forget about the incident, but he wasn’t able to. He almost ran into Patrick again later, as he tried to sneak back to his room. He heard him in time to stop before turning down the corridor, and he shamelessly listened in. 

“He said what about me and Pete?!” Patrick said, sounding shocked.

“Yeah, Jones said he told Pete to his face that you suck his tiny cock.” Beckett said.

“What the fuck?!” Patrick exclaimed, clearly angry.

“Yeah, Pete tried to hit him, but Gabe and Ryland held him back. Apparently they think that all of us pilots are fags.” 

“Why would they say that kind of shit? That’s just wrong!” Patrick railed, voice coming closer.

Pete beat a hasty retreat, not wanting Patrick to know he’d heard him, and wanting to avoid his wrath. He could feel Patrick’s anger from around the corner and had no desire to meet it head on. Pete waited until Patrick and William moved on to sneak back to his room and grab his bass. He spent a couple of hours in the rec room playing with Carden and Butcher, covering everything from Black Flag to Weezer to AC/DC. He let himself get lost in the music, letting the rhythm of his bass wash away his worries. Eventually Mike left and was replaced on the guitar by Disashi, and the Butcher by Andy on the drums, while Suarez came in and hopped on the piano while Victoria sat and sang. 

Eventually, they all left too, not able to resist the siren song of the mess hall. Pete couldn’t stomach the thought of food, or of facing the cadets and their nasty gossip and judgmental laughter. So he ignored the rumblings of his stomach, immersing himself in a round of Halo. For a group that fought real aliens on the regular, they all seemed to really love fighting fake digital ones and Pete was no exception. 

Andy rejoined him a bit later, water bottle and granola bars in hand. Pete took them gratefully. Andy was a good friend. He knew his friend disapproved of him hiding from his problems and Patrick, but Andy was still willing to have his back. Pete wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve such a good friend.

“Thanks man,” Pete said, ripping into one of the granola bars, not caring that it was organic.

“No problem. We have fifteen minutes til we leave for the sim room. Since you didn’t get your hours in yesterday you can make up for it now.”

“What?” Pete looked up, eyes wide in alarm, uncaring as Master Chief died in a shower of plasma fire on the tv screen. 

“Dude, chill. I’m drifting with you and Jon’s going to run the booth for us. Joe and Patrick are practicing on the mats and then they’re hitting the gym,” Andy said with long suffering patience.

“Oh,” Pete said, taking a deep breath, “Ok then.”

He went along without arguing because Andy was right, he did need to get his sim time in, missing two days in a row was bound to land him in hot shit, and he appreciated his friend looking out for him. Their drift went alright, it was something that they did a few times a week. Settling into the drift with Andy was pretty easy, his mind was familiar and comforting, calm and ordered in a way Pete’s mind never could be. Andy had fears and doubts just like Pete, but he was better at facing them, at tucking them away into quiet corners to be analysed and resolved. Pete did his best to push his own fears away while they drifted, but they simmered just under the surface, along with gnawing feeling of missing Patrick.   

They fucked up the first simulation. Or more accurately, Pete fucked it up by being distracted. He could feel Andy’s frustration through the drift even though he didn’t say anything, and he felt bad. He sent Andy a wordless apology and buckled down, doing his best to lock away his fears and focus. With a long suffering sigh, Andy had Jon restart the simulation. They did better the second time around. They used the next simulation to practice a move sequence they’d been working on that relied heavily on their being in rhythm to knock the kaiju off its feet. The sim time left Pete feeling drained but more centered, probably a side effect of Andy’s calm. He thanked Jon and Andy, and Andy left him with one request.

“Talk to him, Pete.”

“Yeah, I will.”

Andy looked at him, rightly not believing him.

“I mean it. You’ll feel better when you do. You always do.”

Pete nodded in agreement, not seeing a point in disagreeing with Andy when he was right. He knew he couldn’t avoid Patrick forever. Inevitably he’d have to face him, and his rejection. There was just nothing saying he had to do it now, or today. He decided to pull him aside some time the next day, knowing that they would both have some free time after lunch. 

With that settled in his mind, Pete hit the showers and headed to his room for the night, to at least try to sleep. He found the room deserted and settled into his bunk with a book and his headphones. A bit later he heard the door open, but didn’t look up.

“Hey Joe, I’m going to read for a bit, I’ll keep the light low, ok?”

“Um. Actually, I was hoping we could talk.” 

Pete fumbled his book in surprise, looking up with wide eyes to find Patrick standing in the middle of the small room, arms wrapped defensively around his chest. He had his favorite dorky hat on, the I heart Bingo one, pulled low over his hair, and he was nervously looking around the room. Pete didn’t think he looked mad, honestly; he looked more nervous, but he was still cautious. 

“Uh, sure. What’s up?” Pete asked, sitting up a little more, pulling his legs up and wrapping his arms around them like they could protect him from having his heart ripped out of his chest.

Patrick took a tentative step towards the bed, then stopped, biting his lip before making the decision to sit indian style on the end of Pete’s bed, facing him. 

“I don’t know. That’s why I’m here. You’ve been avoiding me, Pete.” Patrick said, looking at him with hurt written plainly across his face.

“Uhhh…” Pete doesn’t know what to say.

Patrick huffs in annoyance, and Pete feels his heart drop. 

“Pete, come on. I’m not stupid, don’t deny it. I want to know why.”

“Because you’re mad at me?” Pete said, the statement coming out as a question.

Patrick blinks at him in surprise, expression darkening.

“Well, yeah, jackass. Because you’ve been avoiding me. I want to know why!”

“Wait, you’re not mad that I kissed you?” Pete asks, confused.

“That’s what this is about? What the fuck, Pete!” Patrick exclaims, face turning red.

“See, I knew you were mad about that! I didn’t mean to embarrass you like that, Patrick. You’ve gotta believe me. I didn’t even realize I’d done it. I was like almost out the door before I realized and then there was nothing I could do. I knew you’d be mad, and I wanted to let you cool down, I don’t want you to find someone else to pilot with. I’m not gonna make it as a pilot without you, dude I’m not stupid, I know that. And when I did come across you, I could feel that you were pissed, so I gave you some space. And I know everyone’s saying shit about us, and I’m so fucking sorry that I embarrassed you like that. I really, really am. I don’t know what came over me,” Pete said, his anxiety ratcheting higher with every word. 

Patrick sighed, and Pete looked away, chipping at the sharpie on his fingernail nervously. 

“I’m not mad that you kissed me, Pete. I was confused, and I wanted to talk to you about it, but I couldn’t because you fucking disappeared on me. You even sent Travie to drift with me to avoid me! I didn’t think you wanted to pilot with me again. So yeah, I was pissed! I didn’t know what to think! And I couldn’t ask you because you were fucking avoiding me.” Patrick said, glaring at him.

“I’m sorry, Patrick. I was, I was scared you didn’t want anything to do with me, and I didn’t want to lose you.” 

“So you avoided me? Dammit, Pete. You’re such an idiot. We literally share headspace almost everyday. You can’t just shut me out like that!” 

“I’m sorry.” Pete said, at a loss as to how to convince him of just how sorry he is. 

“Don’t ever do that again, dumbass. Next time, talk to me, ok?” Patrick said.

“Next time? So you don’t want a new co-pilot?” Pete asks, looking up at him hopefully.

“No, dumbass!” Patrick said, scowling at him, “You’re my co-pilot. I was surprised that you kissed me, but I’m not mad. And I’m not embarrassed, why would you think that?” 

“Because you’re not gay?” Pete said, voice quiet.

“No, I’m not. I love you, Pete, you’re my best friend. But I’m not in love with you. Are you, are you in love with me?” Patrick asks, voice soft on the question.

“You’re my best friend, Patrick. I do love you, but not like that, I don’t want to have sex with you. I just, I can’t imagine my life without you in it. I want to spend every day of the rest of my life with you. I want to drift with you, fight with you, keep making you angry, making you laugh. You get me in a way no one else does. You’re good at the shit I’m not, you complete me. You’re so special, Patrick. No, no, let me talk, you are. I know you don’t like to acknowledge it, but you’re smart, and you’re capable, you’re fiery and tough, and you’re the kindest person I know. 

“I can’t imagine not having you in my life. I’m sorry I avoided you, but I was scared, Patrick. I’ve never felt this way about anyone else before, like I couldn’t go without them. I was afraid because I’d never kissed anyone like that before, without thinking about it. I didn’t mean to, I swear. But you were sitting there, and you looked so sweet, all half asleep and grumpy, and I was saying goodbye, and I just, I kissed you without even knowing I did. And then I was so fucking scared that you’d freak on me and not want to have anything to do with me because I embarrassed you in front of the whole mess hall. Everyone thinks we’re fucking now, and saying terrible shit about you. I’m sorry. I’m an idiot.”

“Yeah, you are, Pete.” 

Pete felt himself deflate, and rested his head on his knees, ignoring the tears leaking from his eyes. This was it. This was the part where Patrick would tell him to fuck off and never come back. He took in a stuttered breath as Patrick carded his fingers through Pete’s hair and tugged his head up to look at him, hand cupping his cheek. 

“Fuck the cadets and whatever shit they have to say, ok? They don’t matter. They don’t know what it’s like to share their thoughts, their brain with someone else. To have someone else be such an intimate part of themselves.”

Patrick took a deep shaky breath, and Pete waited for him to finish, barely daring to breathe himself.

“I was mad that you were avoiding me. I wasn’t embarrassed, I was confused. You kissed me, and then avoided me, and I didn’t know what to think. I was afraid of losing you. You’re my best friend, Pete. I don’t want to lose you.”

“I’m here, if you still want me.” Pete said.  

“I, I kind of kissed you back too, you know. I wasn’t even thinking about it either. It just felt right,” Patrick said, cheeks turning red. 

Pete just stared at him, not knowing what to say to that. It had felt right, in the moment. It’s part of why Pete had been beating himself up over it so much.

“I talked to William about it. He thinks it’s just a reflexive action, because of how high our drift percentage is. Kind of like how the Way brothers can finish each other’s sentences. We live in each other’s heads all the time, and we do care for each other. Hell, Joe says we’re like an old married couple and he’s surprised it didn’t happen earlier.” 

“Yeah, Joe told me the same thing. Said we needed couples counseling.” Pete said.

Patrick laughed. 

“I want to keep drifting with you, Pete, we make a good team. You drive me crazy sometimes, but you bring out the best in me too. We compliment each other. You’re my best friend, and I love you, just, platonically, you know?” 

“Yeah, I do.” Pete said, beaming at him, his chest feeling tight with emotion, while feeling incredibly relieved knowing that Patrick didn’t want to dump him after all.

Patrick narrowed his eyes at him, an eyebrow raised. 

“William also told me you were ready to beat up some big buff cadets for impinging my honor or some shit. I’m not a damsel in distress, dip wad.” 

Pete let out a bark of laughter. Trust Patrick to get ruffled feathers over that.

“I couldn’t just let them say that shit about you! Besides, they said my dick is small, and you know it’s not.” Pete grinned at him. 

“Right. Unfortunately for me, I know it’s not.” Patrick said, sending him a look.

“Hey, next time I’ll let you beat them up. Everyone knows you’re twice as scary as me anyways.” 

“You know it.” Patrick said, looking pleased. 

“Yeah, that’s why I avoided you the last two days. Cuz I was afraid you were gonna beat my ass and kick me to the curb.” Pete said, grinning at him.

“Don’t you dare do that shit again, Pete. Or I will beat your ass. I’m serious.” 

“I won’t.” 

“You better not.”

They sat quietly for a few minutes, reaching out mentally, basking in the quiet ease of the other’s company. Pete finally felt tired, his emotions, hyperactivity, and lack of sleep finally catching up to him.

“Hey, stay the night with me?” he asked, looking up at Patrick hopefully, not wanting to be alone.

“Well, Joe kind of kicked me out of my bunk for the night, so, that’s the plan.” Patrick said, rolling his eyes.

“Fucking Joe, man.” Pete said, laughing. 

Patrick agreed with him as he shucked his shoes and pants off, letting them stay where they landed, something they both knew would drive Joe crazy. Pete held the covers up for him to slip under, and tossed his book onto the night stand before turning off the light. He let Patrick spoon him, happy to be the little spoon.

“I am sorry, ‘Trick.” he whispered in the dark.

“I know. I missed you.” Patrick murmured, voice low and deep.

“Yeah. I love you. If I had to marry a dude, and didn’t have to have sex with them, you’d be my first choice. I want to be with you until the end of infinity.”

“I love you too, Pete. Just kiss me on the cheek next time, ok? Less fuss that way.” Patrick said, amusement in his tone.

Pete smiled, feeling like his world had shifted back onto it’s proper axis again.

“Sure thing.”

“Good night, Pete.” 

“Night, ‘Trick.”

Pete fell asleep with a smile on his face. His dreams were peaceful, shared with Patrick.

  


The next morning in the mess hall, as he stood to go to class with Gabe, he stopped and turned to Patrick first. He couldn’t help the satisfied smile that grew on his lips or the tight feeling in his chest as he looked down at his co-pilot, who was frowning down into his coffee, half asleep, hat pulled low over his head. This time his action was purposeful as he leant down and placed a soft smacking kiss on Patrick’s cheek before slipping out the door. He could feel Andy and Joe’s smug amusement at the edges of his mind, as well as Patrick’s warm happiness. And when Gabe teased him about it, he just laughed, secure in the knowledge that Patrick had his back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this ended up being a beast of a chapter. I had a tiny little idea that completely grew on me. It wasn't supposed to be this long. I just had to let Pete angst. Sorry, not sorry? 
> 
> I'm still working on Ray's chapter. And I've officially fucked over the timeline for this AU, but do I really care?! And now I have an idea for a Petekey one shot... damn it.


End file.
